I know a young woman who at an early age stood up to her alcoholic mother’s behavior. She told her outright that she wanted her mother to participate more in their relationship, and that her alcohol driven habits were causing the relationship to be unfulfilling.
Over her choice in beverages, the mother chose her daughter.
Later in life, the same girl came out of our bedroom one late night and said, “I need you to participate with me, it bothers me when you’re not in bed. I need more from this relationship to be happy.”
After a time of unchanging circumstances, the girl moved out and eventually never looked back.
I can see how that would hurt as my vice was more important to me than hearing and responding to her vocalized feelings. One of the saddest things in the world is when love fades away. I can see how people can become jaded over time.
So, now I see why she didn’t love me anymore…
Not because she was hurt I didn’t lay down with her to sleep, but because I did not honor her emotional request. A test her alcoholic mother had passed, but one that her video game addicted partner didn’t.
But why didn’t I listen to her request? In all honesty, the love had gone cold. The months prior to that she had been very needy and demanding, so much so that I checked out emotionally because I chose to respond to her requests for attention by withdrawing.
In the end, she was sad because she no longer felt the love of someone who couldn’t take his adoring eyes off of her; who wouldn’t miss that?
Just the taste of something so pure would make someone want more, and settle for nothing less.
Jeez..the man in this story sounds so much like my husband. Why do men choose video games over thier love life? It makes us women very sad and lonely
Hi Emily Jo. Regrettably, the man in this story was me. From what I can see, when men feel lonely, insecure or inadequate for some reason, they tend to choose things that they feel they can control or participate in without fear of judgment by their peers or loved ones. Also, the things they choose often provide a way to escape their emotional, physical, and intellectual realities as well. When it comes to putting video games, or any vice, before one’s love life it usually means they don’t want to be vulnerable for some reason or another. For me, I found that I preferred a realm of fantasy and escape more than I was willing to put time and effort into a relationship. From everyone I have talked to so far about this particular issue, it seems to be pretty common. Have you talked to your husband about his game playing? Do you have kids together?